I’m borrowing from a Seneca quote here. “He who is everywhere is nowhere.” And, credit where it’s due, I’ve only been thinking about that line because Ryan mentioned it recently. It’s been on my mind since.
I feel drawn thin at times. Too many interests, commitments, projects. It’s not a state of overwhelm… just an awareness of how little I’m pouring into any one thing.
Some amount of this is expected. I frequently return to the line “A good compromise is when both parties are dissatisfied.” I can’t recall where I first heard it… Larry David said it, but then, so did Calvin and Hobbes.
As someone with a heap of interests in life, I expect that there will always be some degree of dissatisfaction with how I allocate my hours.
Time with Molly, time at our land, projects at our land, projects in the shop, projects at home, travel, friends, phone calls, boating, backpacking, workshops, exploring, roadtrips, odd jobs, event organizing, hunting, fishing, spearfishing, catch… I want to do a lot and to say “Hell yes!” when interesting opportunities arise, if only to ensure they keep rolling in. But there’s only so much time in the day and days in the year, which means the perfect mixture is always out of reach, and I’m forever adjusting those levers as one commitment eclipses my capacity for others. That’s the nature of the compromise—a perpetual, if hopefully marginal, dissatisfaction.
But as of late that dissatisfaction has felt a hair more troublesome.
I only recently realized that I’m not working with a static menu—I keep adding interests and connections and making myself available for new adventure and collaboration. Oh I’m quick with a “No”—I’ve gotten much more clear about what I agree to and reject. But I seldom shelve a curiosity, or delete an unaccomplished item from the to-do list or my calendar once it’s found its way on. That is a lever I rarely pull.1 Quite the opposite in fact, as maintaining and improving relationships is a priority often tended to with “We should see more of each other.” New habits, new hobbies, more recurring plans…
It’s all a work in progress, of course. A period of narrowing my attention on furniture building or writing or a handful of relationships will surely have me looking over my shoulder and lamenting my disconnect from other passions and people and so I’ll tweak those knobs yet again. There’s simply no ideal ratio, especially as life continues to evolve. Which means—hopefully—I’ll be fine-tuning these interests until my last moments.
But a lack of clear recipe doesn’t diminish the larger dilemma of—perhaps—too many self-imposed obligations stacking up and an inability to pile focus upon any one pursuit or person. I’m risking superficial relationships with people, habits, and hobbies, and while I’m not entirely lacking on those fronts—I just wrote about a substantive weekend with friends—the trend line has been heading toward more scattered than not.
Stretched a little tight between good people and fun opportunities is a great problem to have. And marginal dissatisfaction and work in progress are what I’ve come to see as par for the course when balancing time among many interests. But drawn such that I sense a growing inability to meaningfully invest in any one place—where I am everywhere yet nowhere—not so much. It’s a good cue to pause and take stock of how well I’m truly tending to my top-tier priorities. And maybe—maaaaybe—scrub a few unchecked items off the to-do list.
DIRECT TO YOUR INBOX
NEW TO THE NEWSLETTER? TO BUILDING?
Start with these posts on Project Planning and Construction Basics.
Or these posts on Community Building.
Or browse. Posts wander from friendship, to workshops, to tools, to explosives. Because we contain multitudes.
elevatedspaces.ca | Instagram | YouTube
I did quit my pool league this year. Baby steps.