The value of time
More and more. Less and less.
I think a lot about time as a resource. How I allocate it. Who I allocate it to. The more I’ve come to command my own time, the more acute my awareness that it’s my greatest commodity. That lens can really narrow the focus.
Where does the time go?
I’ve got fewer than 2500 weeks left. That’s if I’m lucky—Ryan invokes an appropriate quote here. How will I spend those hours?
Time with Molly. Time with friends. Projects I enjoy and skill-building I relish. Allotment becomes a question of values doled across remarkably scant hours.
I’m not enthusiastic about selling my time, if I can help it. But, maybe surprisingly, I’m quite eager to give it away. To help a friend with a project. To do a favor. To chip in some labor without the burden payment. That aforementioned investment in people and values…
There’s a chapter in Edward Abbey’s Desert Solitaire where he’s volunteering to help some ranchers wrangle cattle. Rough work in rougher country. A battered rancher wonders why he’s out there for no pay and Abbey replies “I do this only for fun. If I did it for pay I might not like it.”
I connect with that. It’s different when you don’t have to do it. Better.
I have to be careful though. A “Yes” means a “No” to something else, and it turns out that if you’re in the habit of giving away work and making space for quality experiences with quality people, folks will take you up on it.
There’s also this ever-present tension between my desire to spread my time around and the concern that I’m spread too thin. After all, doing anything well takes time, and larger investments that I find difficult to commit to may well be worth the squeeze.
It’s a balance.
Time as talent
I’ve found I have to be very selective of projects I take on (or highly detailed in their boundaries) because I can’t fully regulate the time I will pour into them—a curse and blessing that’s a serious problem on paid projects which inevitably take up more space in my life than I could possibly be compensated for.
I’m unable to regulate those hours because, time—obsession really—has been my substitute for talent. I’ve been on projects of all types and my obsession is generally the reason they’ve worked out well. It’s an engine I can’t shut down. A quote I’ve leaned on previously: Teller (of magicians Penn and Teller): “...magic is just someone spending more time on something than anyone else might reasonably expect.”
If it’s a build, there is revision after revision, disassembling and reassembling digitally and on paper, again and again. I lie awake, unable to sleep, imagining each detail and order of operation, clocking pinch-points, contingencies, and necessary supplies. Eating, driving, whatever, the refinement consumes me… but, the payoff is that impurities are hammered out until there’s rarely a meaningful surprise left.
That compulsion is something I can’t fully reign in, and I’ve found the only way to silence those reeling thoughts is seeing a project through to the finish line.
That motor is a burden, but also a great asset I’ve come to embrace. And while I don’t fully buy into Gladwell’s idea of 10,000 hours (some artistic sensibilities seem innate, or at least born of more complicated a soup than simply time in the saddle), my ability/need to sneak in those minutes and hours has gotten me shockingly far.
Worth my time
I honestly don’t feel like I’ve made much progress figuring out what my time is worth—that professional insecurity is its own post. But the net gain of all this time vigilance is an absolutely keener sense of what is worth my time. There I’ve made progress.
Recent reflections on how much I value my time with certain friends have had me reaching out to folks I’d like to be closer to with a “Hey, I’d like to spend more time together.” The resolve of my “Hell ya’s” and “Hell no’s” has sharpened—they come a lot quicker now. And really, what this focus boils down to, is that I’m continuing to better know which projects, pursuits, hobbies, and relationships I most want to invest myself in—who gets a “yes” and what gets a firm “no.”
This is spot on. My orientation toward my time changed a bunch a few years ago when I went from being regular full-time employed to a self-employed consultant. I no longer had to spend time at an office just because it was between 9 and 5, or go to meetings that I didn't need to be in, or work on projects I didn't want to (mostly). It's led to both more free non-work time which I can spend how I like, and higher quality work time because I'm focused on what I'm good at.
"But the net gain of all this time vigilance is an absolutely keener sense of what is worth my time." I love this so much!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2E-12dTPUyk